It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So here I am, sexting at work.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
