So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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