You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
