Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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