so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
