she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
