he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
