I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
