What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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