I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
