this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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