Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You were trust falling into bushes
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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