i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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