i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
