some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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