Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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