I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
