we're blogging at a bar
It's Friday. Sex?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
