went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That accounts for only three of the penises
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
