hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
