Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
