does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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