Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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