Cold hands, warm shart.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
