guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
