i already hear my dad disowning me
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
