North Korea, Best Korea!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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