Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
