I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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