Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Help. Why am I so naked?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
