i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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