Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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