is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
