I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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