I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
