Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
