Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
