If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
