my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
