whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
