I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
