it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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