I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
