I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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