she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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