$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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