I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
You can't motorboat a personality
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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