I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
