let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
