the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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