Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
